Buzzcut season

I'm starting to feel quite numb to this sequential episodes of anxiety charges, and the woes of giving in to peace (of mind).

Perhaps this isn't so much a good way to write my first post of 2017. Positivity is alive in me I promise, but I begin to let down on certain things that continuously bleed familiarity. Yes, familiarity is consistency, and consistency is progress. But what good is consistency if I cannot shake off this dreadful instinct that consistency is not my progress, but my stagnation?

At some point, I shall fail to consistently mark my growth. This rate of exhaustion strains me, and I may well find that one day when I stop trying to care anymore about the leaves in the wind, or the warmth of the sun.

Here I learn much of duplicity, and of the things we believe matter in ways we misconstrue. How ironic it is (I am quite sadly amused by this) that I learn to see more clearly, but must still remain partly blind in order to stay afloat in this heavy world.

This semester is going to be an interesting one - hopefully I've grown since the last semester, I like to think I did! Many questions torrent me everyday, my tendency to think too much about too many things does not dilute.

Still there is much to love of this world, much much more to see and to feel. I turn 21 in a few days; my wish upon the candle shall be well-thought :)